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The problem with fashion is, you only realise you look like an idiot in hindsight. It happens to the best of us. Sometimes you go into the hairdressers and ask for bit of a trim and layering, but you end up with permed mullet. We have identified the top 8 haircuts not to ask for when you attempt a new look.

The Mohican

Also known as “The War Cut”, the mohican is what happens when you shave both sides of your head, leaving a strip of hair down the middle. It was designed to intimidating. It’s not. Punks used it in the early 80s, and Mr. T sported one. Are you sure you want one?

The Pony Tail

This style is far worse on men than it is on women. So don’t panic if you are a woman and have a ponytail. Historically, the ponytail was worn by women at home but not for going out in public. The hairstyle was mandatory with European armies until the early 1800s. Well done to the British army for being the first to dispense with it. Unfortunately for us, Steven Seagal single-handedly resurrected the style.

The Bowl Cut

Different countries call this hairstyle a different name. But it is quite simple. Take a bowl, put it over your head, and cut what you can. Historically the hair cut was popular among those who couldn’t afford a professional haircut. Never a good idea, just shave it off if the credit crunch is hurting your wallet.

The Beehive

What would you look like if you put a beehive on the top of your head? Also known as the B-52 for it’s resemblance to the nose of a B-52 Stratofortress bomber, the beehive plagued women since the 1950s. The beehive can be cited as the root source of big hair in following decades. Unfortunately, Amy Winehouse is doing her best to bring this look back.

The Combover

Sometimes a hairstyle is not just a hairstyle. Referred to in Japan as “Barcode style” because of the similarities between striations caused by the comb and barcodes on products. Basically, the comb-over is what happens to you when you cover the top of your head with long hair from the side of your head. It is designed to disguise baldness. Listen up, don’t even attempt it.

The Flattop

The flattop is when the hair on top of your head is completely flat. It is one of the most expensive haircuts to maintain. A flattop wearer has to get the haircut up to once a week. The haircut is popular with the US military and law enforcement officers. The flattop is versatile and can be combined with most haircuts in this list. One of the most popular variations is the “Duck’s Ass”.

The Mullet

Also known as the Hockey Haircut, and not to be mistaken with the rattail, the mullet is short in the front, top and sides… but long in the back. Ancient fishermen used the mullet to keep their necks warm(what’s wrong with a scarf?). Despite it being one of the worst haircuts in the universe, the mullet is growing in strength in many parts of middle America and Hoxton, London. Modern technology such as polaroid cameras will make sure you never forget your awful mullet. Avoid.

The Permanent Wave

The permanent wave, aka the perm seemed like a good idea for many men and women. Why? Well, curly hair seemed more attractive back then. Although we would love to lay blame on stadium rock bands of the 80s, the real culprit was Marcel Grateau. He unleashed a practical thermal method in 1872. Although his intentions were pure, hairdressers should have been warned that with great power comes great responsibility.

Think we missed anything? Let us know in the comments below.